When my friend’s husband (Anthony) called and asked for me to bring my son to their house for a few minutes, I happily loaded him into the car and drove over.

There was a heaviness in the room when we walked through the front door and I began to sweat. 

“Please, sit down,” Anthony motioned to their sofa.

Within 34 seconds I realized what was going on.

My son had been bullying their son during play time and I was clueless. 

I opened my inbox yesterday and read a note from a mom asking for advice. She is friends with a sweet mom and while they are visiting, her son is watching her fiend’s son bully and hurt his younger sibling… And now her son is acting out at home.

“I’ve decided to give the friendship a break for a while.” She wrote. And then she asked me how I would handle the situation.

Suddenly I was back on the sofa listening to Anthony.

So I shared…

One of our sons really struggled with bully behavior.

He was sarcastic, aggressive and had a mean streak when his pride was challenged.

His favorite target?
–> My best friend’s son who was a couple of years younger than him.

Honestly, I had been blind to it, and then my friend and her husband invited me and my son over.

The parents, explained that this type of behavior would not be tolerated. Their son adored my son, but often felt bullied and had begun to take on my son’s habits.

Not gonna be allowed.

“Buddy, we love you. We are giving you a chance to learn and correct your behavior, but if you do not our son will not be aloud to play with you.”

Gulp.

They were so loving, united, clear and determined to help my son while protecting theirs.

Related: What does Bullying Look like?

I was horrified of course, but we only grew closer as friends…

Not all friendships survive this kind of family coaching and correcting.
But that would be my advice.

Get together and explain.

• Mom, sometimes it’s our kids who are the bullies.
• Other times it’s our kids who are being bullied.

I needed to witness how my friend and her husband addressed the negative behavior head on.

And so did my son.

Related: 6 Tips for having a conversation about cyber bullying

There are consequences for bad behavior, but we are to extend grace.

***If my friend has simply stopped hanging out with me because of my son, we never would have learned this lesson and her son would simply learn to avoid problems rather than lovingly deal with them.

Plus, we would have missed the sweetness of a friendship that has grown into a lifeline over the past few decades…

How to Address Bullying

• Open our eyes. We need to see the world with clarity.
• Watch for opportunities to show kids good, bad, wrong, and cruel behavior and then talk about how to properly handle the situation.
• Practice. Find a 5 minute pocket of time and play-practice.
• Address it head-on. No one wins when we put our heads in the sand and run. If our kids are bullies, invite the parents over and lovingly ask for forgiveness and correct the behavior. If our kids are being bullied… do the same
• Protect our kids! We were blessed our friends address bullying head on. But if your kids are in danger, protect them. If necessary, get the authorities involved.

What would you add?

How have you witnessed bullying behavior dealt with that WORKED? We need to learn from each other…