We Deprive Our Sons On Purpose Yes, We deprive Our Sons on Purpose: That’s right. We deprive them. The Result of Deprivation? Boredom. Do not be afraid of a bored child. And DO Not rescue them. On the other side of boredom lives creativity, design, and ingenuity… A Bit of chaos. But out of this chaos, they create kingdoms! Imaginative play. Give the bored kids access to some kind of props. In our home, that means training swords. Even the 16-year-old will run through our yard, sword over head, leading the way on some fantastic quest. Creativity. They write, they draw, they create. But these things take time. The mind needs time and space to be creative! Self-awareness. In the stillness, they discover who they are. Priceless! Self Reliance. In the quiet, kids can be mentored to be self-reliant, problem-solving individuals. If they are always on the run, the temptation is to do too much for them. Toughness. Kids today are weak, selfish, and wimpy. They faint at the sight of hard work and they complain about their hard lives. These spoiled, self-indulgent future adults need to have a solid understanding that they do not live in the center of our universe. Do not misunderstand me… I adore my children. All five of them. But my day and clocks are not set by their wants and desires. My husband and I run this little universe of love and they are along for the ride. I am a blessed mom who actively deprives her children of anything and anything that will make them “less”. TV, candy, lack of sleep, technology, etc… So what do we deprive them of exactly? We deprive them of over busy schedules We leave room in their lives for family, creativity and (GASP) even boredom! We deprive them of being saving them every time they fail This one is hardest on me, the mom. They learn better if they fail. Sometimes when they fail miserably! we need to remember that our kids do not always need to be rescued. We deprive them of technology My son just asked me if he could play a video game. I answered, “No. Get the heck out of my house!” Yes, I was laughing. Yes, he replied, “I just wanted to see what you would say!” Kids do not need to be wired into technology. They need limits. Adults set the limits, kids follow them. period. We deprive them of sitting at a desk all day. Boys need to run. I recently read a study that kids in Finland that the teachers teach for 45 minutes then they send their kids outside for 15 minutes (rain or shine). Not only do their kids’ test scores outrank most, their kids are more focused. I tried this with my boys. Yep. It works. Short bursts outside in between all subjects. MAGIC. We deprive the boys of staying up late. All of our kids are sent to bed by 8:00. Even our 16 year old. While we allow the older boys (16, 13) to read for about an hour, the other kids (11, 9) are required to be quiet and sleep. Kids need sleep! Deprive your kids. Un-busy their lives Take away technology for large chunks of time. Be in charge of how much they get. Turn off the TV. As often as you can. Kick them outside and keep them there until they no longer whine about being there. (In a loving way, in a safe environment, supervised of course) Give your kids distance and time. Give them a bin of chaos, a stack of good books, a drawing pad, and a jacket. Trust me. Preview of the Heart of Homeschooling God’s Way Master Class. We need to STOP measuring success by grades, achievements, awards, and worksheets.
Creativity and Boredom Inside: Free boredom Buster Ideas {Printable} My dad always said creativity and imagination lived just on the other side of boredom. I used to think that was so stupid. Sorry, dad. Then I grew up. I watch this truth play out not only in my own life, but the lives of my children as well. I have 5 very talented and creative boys. Yes, I am biased, but I am telling you it’s true. My boys are Lego architects, writers, painters, musicians, and simply a whole bunch of fun to be around. Before I sound too much like a snotty prideful mom, I want to repeat what my dad always told me: “Creativity and Imagination live just on the other side of boredom.” Related: Sometimes the perfect thing to hand a bored child is a broom. Other times it’s something to explore. Here is the secret to growing amazingly creative and imaginative kids… …Let them be bored! Allow your kids to get bored. I mean really bored. Do not rescue them (unless there’s blood). Do not turn on the TV and absolutely ban “all things electronic. (not all the time, just often) Tell them all you have is an endless list of chores for them to complete if they come to you for suggestions. If the weather permits, send ’em outside and tell them they cannot come in until the timer dings. At least an hour! Sit back and wait… Depending on how over-stimulated and over-scheduled your kids are, there will likely be a delay between their first boredom appointment and the flow of creativity. Freebie: Your Ticket for Boredom Busters It could be a few minutes or a few days. Trust me it’s worth the wait! Plan for regular periods of boredom. Daily is best. You may think I am crazy, but I am quite sane. Bored kids: Create the “new games” Create awesome forts Write creative stories Rediscover old toys Think painting a fence is fun Weave complicated characters and events into their make-believe playtime Change the world Now, if you just cannot handle the thought of allowing your children to become really bored, or if the thought of the possibly whining makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck: cheat. (That’s another lesson from my dad) Go to the local thrift stores and let them buy some new dress-up clothes. Pick up a few (or a few dozen) empty cardboard boxes. Buy an assortment of PVC piping and let them create. Find a spell-binding book to read aloud at breakfast or lunch. Be sure to stop reading at an exciting part! This is a great time to send them off. My kids end up personifying literary characters often! Buy some spiral bound notebooks and “special pens” to help them write a creative story (Tell them you will not correct spelling and grammar… just let them write). Invite a “cool big kid” over to play. As homeschoolers, we can over schedule our children’s lives to the point of physical and mental exhaustion. Slow down. Let the lull of summer on the horizon remind us that it is more than OK to slow down. We need to allow our children to come to the end of their schedules in order to provide time and opportunity for creativity. Sometimes throwback toys are the ticket to unlocking kids creativity. Let me remind you about a few oldies but goodies. Yes, I’m letting my age show with these… Chinese Jacks Chinese Jumprope Yo-yo Lincoln Logs Download your FREE “Creativity and Boredom” {Printable}
Don’t Rescue Your Kids Don’t Rescue Your Kids from Boredom, Second Place, or Hard Work! We recently moved to a beautiful new rental nestled on 4 acres in Washington. The place is stunning, the yard a haven. The boys have an absolute ball playing in the wonderland, but don’t necessarily enjoy the yardwork needed to keep it looking wonderful. Today, our 11 year old was cutting his section of the grass. Since we are in fact in Washington, I was trying to make sure the main yard got cut before this afternoon’s rain. I did not succeed. With 40 x 6 feet left to mow, the skies opened up and it began to pour. I mean pour! I shouted to my son to stop mowing so he could get out of the rain. He didn’t hear me. I stood there under the over hang of the roof watching him mow. He was smiling. Smiling in the pouring rain. Why was my instinct to “save” him from the downpour? It must be a mom thing. Not only did he finish cutting the grass with a huge grin, he also stumbled upon a beautiful little frog that he caught and relocated to our pond. The boy was in heaven. Some of the best experiences in life are on the other side of trials, downpours and boredom. We need to let our kids push through. I’m talking to myself right now as I reflect on this, but I know I am not alone. Kids today don’t have the same gumption as kids of the past. They need to work harder and be less entertained and coddled… Don’t you think? Maybe it’s because We have 5 boys and are very aware of our responsibility to raise future men that I feel this way. Yes, it’s ok to make your kids do chores. It’s even ok to make them redo them if they did a lousy job for their age, or if they have a lousy attitude. Make them go get the trash bag out of the can and place it back in the kitchen and take it out again. 5, 10, 100 times if necessary. Yes, it’s ok to let them cut the grass in the rain, or the sun, or under a rainbow. Supervised of course. (FYI- I almost always work right alongside the kids. If they are mowing, I’m weeding…) Yes, it’s ok to have them vacuum, wash dishes, or fold laundry. Trust me, it will not kill them. Yes, it’s ok for them not to win a game or trophy. If they did not win, then they lost. Teach them to win with humility and lose with grace. Don’t Rescue Your Kids from Boredom, Second Place, or Hard Work! We all need them to grow up to be creative, humble, hardworking, gracious adults who are not afraid to work hard until the job is done right! Amen? Who knows? Maybe they will smile in the rain and relocate a few frogs along the way…