My youngest sons will battle over anything.

Even freshly picked blackberries.

Sitting on the porch quietly enjoying the sun and savoring the warmth and fleeting moments of summer vacation. That’s how this day began.  

So peaceful.

So wonderful.

Blessed.

And then I heard them.

“Snap!”

“Ahhh! Why you little…”

“Sam, why the heck did you do that?”

There’s a certain sound of silence that happens just before teenaged brothers burst into battle.

photo by Chuttersnap

I quickly entered the house just in time to see my youngest spring like a lion at his older brother.

Sam decided Stephen couldn’t eat any of the freshly picked blackberries.

Stephen wouldn’t take no for an answer.

They were neck and neck, toe to toe, raging teenage hormone to raging teenage hormone.

So of course, they decided”The Great Blackberry War” needed to happen in my kitchen.

I am seriously battling Overwhelm at the moment.

• Everything in my life is slightly off balance or out of control.
• Our oldest son moved out of state and is enjoying his new life so much that he never calls home.
• My sons suddenly forgot that this family only works if everyone pulls their own weight and works together.
• Our two youngest sons, “Frick-and-Frack” are walking time bombs of hormones.
• Stephen just turned 12-years old and has the black peach fuzz, manly musk odor and emotions to prove it.
• Because of new health issues, we had to give up sugar, flour, and rice.
  • Translation: ALL my savory, wonderful and tried and true recipes are off the menu.
• The new school year is peeking at me from dark corners, lurking in the back of my mind like a ball and chain ready to entrap me. I have no clue how I am going to manage 7th, 9th, and 10th grade.
• and… 

I keep finding myself in my kitchen walking in circles like a dog looking for a comfortable place to lie down.

Related: Homeschooling Tips During the Coronavirus

I just can’t seem to get traction.

Reality Check: My overwhelm is no different than yours

Oh, the circumstances will be uniquely yours, but the feelings of frustration will be the same.

You may not be dealing with kids leaving home, 4 teenagers walking through your kitchen, and Brothers Brutally Battling over blackberries…

photo by Daria Nepriakhina

Maybe

• Your husband fell off a ladder and is fighting for his life {like my friend Amy}
• You’re the mom of an only child, struggling to balance life and being your daughter’s joyful tea time guest.
• You walk in on your napping 3-year old son, only to find him painting the baby with vaseline and baby powder.
• You’re a mom of many, with 5.9 kids, trying to teach your 16-year old to drive and potty training your toddler all during the same week.
• Your husband unexpectedly gets caught in the layoff at work and you lay awake at night trying to figure out where your grocery money is coming from.
• You stumble out of the doctor’s office with a drooling “Pinterest Worthy” baby on one hip and a referral to an oncologist hanging from your left hand.
• and…

Life is so hard.

My “hard” is not worse or easier than your hard.

I wish we could all see that.

When you hit your limit, it honestly doesn’t matter what circumstances led you there- you’re just undone.

Spinning in circles in your kitchens, listening to our kid’s without hearing them, UNDONE.

I think women who say things like,

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”       

don’t have husbands in comas, starving teenaged boys, or late bills, or cancer.

They don’t understand that you are standing in the parking lot drenched to the bone, holding dripping, screaming, “tantrum throwing” toddler, watching your groceries become mini swimming pools and you frantically searching for your keys to the car.

You just want to load the kids and bags in the car and get out of here as quickly as possible.

photo by David Marcu

Dancing in the rain didn’t make your list today.

Sure, this moment may be funny someday in the far future, but not today.

• Today, you’re undone.
• Today you need help. You wonder, does God even care?

Can we please stop comparing our drama and start supporting each other?

You need a good friend to pour your heart out to, someone who won’t judge you but will just listen.

I need less on my to-do list, but I’m so busy running circles that I have no idea where to start cutting.

We need:

• someone who sees us struggling in the rain and who does more than snap a picture to show their friends later.
• a friend to cover us with an umbrella and kindly point out that the screaming child in our arms is holding our car keys behind our back.
• to hear from moms who have gone down the same dusty road and made it alive, preferably with their joy intact.

Sometimes we need just practical help. {join Character First Homeschooling on facebook)

Or silence.

Sometimes we just need to get home.

Today, I see you in my own reflection.

You’re tired.

You’re overwhelmed.

You’re NOT alone…

So what do we do when we find our world spinning and our lives are out of control?

Go back to the basics.

We need a plan of attack to fight the Overwhelm.

Straightforward, achievable, and focused.

Or as my dad would say, “Let’s eat this elephant one bite at a time.”

photo by Jay Mantri

5 Steps to Overcoming the Overwhelm

1. Breathe. Slowly. Deeply. Purposely. It’s scientifically proven to change your state of mind.
2. Pray. Because it works. Some of us cling to the Lord in prayer, but even the medical society sees measurable value in prayer.  According to Harvard Dr. Herbert Benson,”The act of prayer has shown to increase certain helpful neurotransmitters, such as dopamine, which help promote a state of relaxation, focus, motivation, and well-being.  But the effects are not confined to momentary relaxation. Long-term prayer can actually rewire and rebuild the brain!”
3. Here are 33 Bible verses to read and pray over your life.
4. Attack Chaos (15-30 minutes at a time) Declutter your home a little bit each day.
5. Simplify Life (cut things out until you can breathe)
6. Help a friend (or stranger) {Make a freezable meal and drop it off- including disposable plates, help the mom in the parking lot find her keys and get her groceries in the car, tell moms of many they are doing a great job especially when dealing calmly with out of control children.

Did you notice there are 6 steps, not 5?

Life doesn’t follow rules, steps, or fit into a nice neat box either. But the Lord always meets us, doesn’t He?

Sometimes, the Lord answers my prayers for peace in practical ways.

Parenting Espionage Tip 1.7.

Taking my own advice, I became a chore spy.

I looked around for moms who rock the organization/chore department.  You know what I mean. Their homes run smoothly, they don’t walk in circles in their kitchens, so I stole their plans.

Photo by Mike Birdy

Sure, I had to tweak it to fit our family.

Suffice to say that if my friend’s daughter can clean the kitchen, drag their fields, weed-eat their yard and sweep the barn- my boys could clean the kitchen and keep our bathrooms clean.

They agreed. 

And I quickly revamped our chores, wrote them on the new chore squares and slapped them on my fridge with total determination.

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So far, it’s a big success.

So today, I am battling the overwhelm with a vengeance.

How about you?

Do you need to conquer your overwhelm?

• Breathe
• Pray
• Attack the Chaos
• Simplify
• Help a friend
• and Assign Some Chores to your kids
• Join us on Character First Homeschooling

I can’t promise a chore chart will help prevent a New Blackberry War, but it sure helped my home run more smoothly and that’s a big enough victory for me!

Photo by Brooke Cagle

PRINT THIS FREE HOMESCHOOL MOM REMINDER.

This post comes with a free printable reminder list to help keep your heart focused on the heart of homeschooling. I always have the hardest staying focused. This printable simplifies it!

Here is a sneak preview…

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE PRINTABLE

1. Download the checklist. You’ll get the printable, plus join 9,000+ homeschool moms who receive my weekly parenting tips and ideas!
2. Print. Any paper will do the trick, but card stock would be ideal.
3. Place it on your refrigerator as a helpful reminder.